Back to Nursery After the Summer Holidays: Helping Your Child Settle Back In
We have all been there.
You come back from a week away and, aside from the beach, the mountains, the views and the food, the real perk was the relaxed timeline. No appointments, no chores, no deadlines. Just long, lazy days where nobody really knows what time it is.
Then you come home and suddenly… life hits you in the face.
The suitcase sitting in the hallway is staring at you like a stern teacher waiting for you to complete your worksheet. Meanwhile, you know you need to do the grocery shopping, prepare meals for next week, check your emails, put on several loads of laundry and, of course, get yourself ready to return to work.
And this is all before you have even returned to work.
Your mental load is full before you have actually done anything. The carefree thoughts you had while sitting on the beach have been replaced with anxiety, dread and a growing list of things that need doing.
And then there is the parenting.
Because, let’s face it, parenting during the holidays can feel very different too.
The children have been entertained by days out, ice creams, swimming, adventures and activities. Bedtimes have probably become later. Screens may have been used a little more than usual. Snacks and treats have been available more freely.
You’re on holiday after all!
But now the holiday is over, the standards are back, routines need to return and suddenly the emotional overwhelm comes crashing down — for both you and your child.
“But why does it have to stop?”
Young children live very much in the moment.
Schedules, time and delayed gratification are still developing concepts. Your child doesn’t necessarily understand why something that was happening every day suddenly has to stop.
From their perspective, they have learned something very simple:
Holiday = fun.
Mummy and Daddy were around more. We went to exciting places. We had ice cream. We watched films. We stayed up later. We had lots of time together.
So why would they want that to end?
And this is where returning to nursery can sometimes become difficult.
You may arrive at the nursery gate to find your previously settled, happy toddler suddenly crying, clinging to your legs and desperately asking you not to leave.
To us, the situation makes perfect sense.
To them, it can feel completely confusing.
Young children don’t yet have the same understanding of time that adults do. They don’t necessarily understand what “next week” means, when the next holiday will be or even whether the holiday routine will ever come back.
So that big emotional reaction at the nursery gate isn’t necessarily about nursery.
It may simply be your child’s way of saying:
“I don’t understand why things have changed. I want my Mummy and Daddy back. I want our fun days back. I don’t want this new routine.”
And, quite understandably, they may think:
“If I cry a little harder, maybe they’ll change their mind!”
Don’t forget that nursery is fun too!
There is another interesting thing that can happen when children return after a long break.
They can become completely blinded by their attachment to their parents at drop-off.
Your child may be standing at the nursery door, sobbing because they don’t want you to leave, and in that moment it can genuinely feel to them as though nursery is the last place on earth they want to be.
But this doesn’t mean they don’t love nursery.
It doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy their friends.
It doesn’t mean they have suddenly stopped enjoying playing, painting, messy activities, stories, cooking, singing, dancing or exploring outdoors.
Their emotions are simply very big in that moment.
When a child is overwhelmed by the feelings associated with separating from their parent, they aren’t necessarily able to access all those happy memories at the same time.
Ask them at home:
“What did you do at nursery today?”
and you might get:
“Nothing.”
“Who did you play with?”
“Nobody.”
Yet an hour later, they may be happily telling you about making cakes, playing with their best friend or getting messy with paint.
Their attachment to you can temporarily become the loudest feeling in the room.
And that is okay.
It’s also why we shouldn’t be too quick to interpret tears at the nursery door as evidence that a child doesn’t want to be at nursery.
Sometimes they just really, really don’t want their parent to leave.
Every child is different
Of course, some children are completely happy to go with the flow.
They walk back through the nursery door as though they have never been away, give you a quick kiss and disappear off to play.
Other children find the transition much harder.
They may become more clingy, tearful or emotional. They may resist getting dressed in the morning, refuse to leave the house or suddenly become upset at drop-off — even though they were previously completely settled and loved nursery.
This can be particularly surprising for parents.
You may find yourself thinking:
“But they loved nursery before the holidays. What’s happened?”
The answer is often: nothing has gone wrong.
Your child has simply experienced a change in routine and is having to adjust again.
Just as some adults experience the “post-holiday blues”, some children need a little more time and support to find their rhythm again.
And that’s completely normal.
So, how can you help?
1. Start rebuilding the routine before the first day back
If possible, don’t wait until the night before nursery starts to suddenly reintroduce your usual routine.
Gradually move bedtime and wake-up times back towards normal. Bring back regular mealtimes and begin reducing some of those holiday habits.
It doesn’t have to be perfect.
The aim is simply to make the transition feel less dramatic.
2. Talk about nursery positively — but don't overdo it
It’s lovely to remind your child about nursery, but try not to turn it into a huge event.
You might say:
“I wonder if your friends have missed you?”
“I bet you’ll have lots of stories to tell us when you get home.”
“I wonder what you’ll play with tomorrow?”
This gently reminds them that nursery is still part of their world.
3. Remind them of the fun they have there
This is particularly helpful when your child seems to have forgotten everything they love about nursery!
Talk about their friends, favourite activities and familiar adults.
“I wonder if you’ll do cooking this week?”
“Do you think you’ll paint today?”
“I wonder what you and your friends will play?”
You’re helping them reconnect with the positive memories that can become temporarily overshadowed by separation anxiety.
4. Keep goodbye short, warm and confident
This one can be difficult.
When your child is crying, every instinct tells you to stay a little longer.
But repeatedly coming back for another cuddle, another explanation or another goodbye can sometimes make the separation harder.
Give them a loving goodbye.
Tell them when you will return in language they understand:
“Mummy is going to work and I’ll come back after your tea.”
Then leave confidently.
It is okay for your child to be upset.
Being upset doesn’t mean they aren’t safe.
And it certainly doesn’t mean you are doing something wrong.
5. Give them something predictable to look forward to
Young children don’t understand calendars particularly well, so “I’ll see you Friday” may not mean very much.
Instead, use familiar events.
“I’ll come back after your lunch.”
“I’ll see you after you’ve had your nap.”
“I’ll be here after afternoon snack.”
The more predictable the day becomes, the more secure they are likely to feel.
6. Expect a little emotional fallout at home
Sometimes the child who seems perfectly fine at nursery falls apart the minute they get home.
This can actually make sense.
They may have held themselves together throughout the day and then released all those emotions when they are back with their safest people.
So if your child becomes clingy, emotional or unusually tired after nursery, try not to assume something is wrong.
They may simply be processing a big change.
Extra cuddles, patience and connection can go a long way.
7. Trust the nursery team
Remember that nursery practitioners see this transition every year.
We know that the child crying at the door may be the same child who is laughing ten minutes later while playing with their friends.
We will comfort them, help them settle and gently redirect them towards the things they enjoy.
And sometimes the hardest part of the whole process is actually the parent walking away!
If you’re worried, ask your nursery to let you know how your child settles once you’ve left. You may be surprised to discover that those enormous tears at the gate disappear much faster than you imagined.
And remember…
The return to nursery doesn’t have to be perfect.
There may be tears.
There may be clinginess.
There may be a few mornings where everyone is running late, nobody can find a shoe and you’re questioning whether the holiday was actually worth coming home from!
But your child will adjust.
The routine will become familiar again. Friends will be there. Favourite activities will return. The nursery environment will once again become part of their everyday rhythm.
And before long, the child who couldn’t bear to let you leave may be running through the nursery door without even looking back.
And yes, that can be a little bit heartbreaking too.
Because ultimately, this transition is about something quite lovely: your child learning that they can have a wonderful, secure relationship with you and feel happy, confident and connected in another environment too.
So if your child is struggling with the return to nursery this September, take a breath.
You haven’t undone all the progress you made before the holidays.
You haven’t created a problem.
Your child hasn’t suddenly stopped loving nursery.
They are simply adjusting.
And just like you, they are getting used to being back in the real world again.
Looking for a nursery in Charlton or Blackheath?
If you’re looking for a warm, nurturing nursery in Charlton or Blackheath, we’d love to welcome you and your family.
At our nursery, we understand that settling in isn’t just about getting children through the door — it’s about helping them feel safe, secure, happy and excited to come back each day.
From friendships and imaginative play to crafts, cooking, music and exploring, we want nursery to be a place where children build confidence, independence and a genuine love of learning.
Are you looking for a nursery in Charlton or Blackheath?
Book a show round and come and see us for yourself.